Useless majors you have to avoid

Meenakshi Sathish
Staff Writer

      ​Five bucks says that the moment seniors got their acceptance letters from their schools, they shut whatever textbooks they were studying  and went to sleep. Who wants to tell them that the nightmare isn’t over? While most student have their majors written in their diary (and for the guys out there, “journal”) and selected since the second grade, others still have trouble deciding on one. Can you blame them though? A teenager’s frontal cerebrum hasn’t developed yet, and adults think it’s best for us to decide a path that can make our break or future. So for those who have no idea what to go into, here is a positive start on a list of majors you definitely shouldn’t do unless you want to amount to nothing. Let’s get started! 

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      Journalism and Communications: Let’s start with the fact that no one reads the newspaper is anymore, and it’s worked out for the better. Our world is at the peak of success. When is the last time we heard of an extremist group attacking or a virus spreading? Our world is too perfect to find anything wrong with it. People may argue that in order for social media to thrive, we need communications graduates. I say create a mean hashtag on Twitter and shut them up. They don’t know their way around Twitter, so what do they know? They’re just journalism and communications students.
      Philosophy and Religious Studies: Sophocles, Aristotle, Hypatia: They all were Greek philosophers. They are all dead now. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Philosophy is the quintessential useless major. It’s super easy! Just sit around and think about concepts that take a person above and beyond the hominid mind set by using anthropological evidence of human behavior and scriptures of faith to determine the true meaning of life. I didn’t even break a sweat. Religion gave hope to people in the beginning of time when the circumstances gave them reasons only to cry. Religion gave people the sense of direction when the path was not clear. Religion brought people together when communities were fighting against each other. What a waste of time! There are probably apps that can do this for you now (because nothing about religion says “personal”).
      Anthropology and Archeology: Anthropology is very much used as a forensic science. Forensic anthropologist use concepts like DNA, bone structures, medical procedures, etc. to determine what happened to the victim and how to catch the perpetrator by using the evidence. While this is all great and stuff, it still doesn’t erase the fact that the internet says that this is a bad major to pick. The internet is usually right too, so we can’t even use that argument. I say if you just wait it out, the case will solve on its own, and no one has to get hurt. With archeology, all they do is play in the sand. Who cares about ancient artifacts and fossils that can potentially change the way we look and nature and mankind?
      English: We don’t need a written language. That’s why we have emojis. Why struggle with figuring out literary devices, like personification and similes? I have never used a simile like how the rain never falls at a boiling temperature. English is supposed to be a straight-forward language. There is no need to complicate things. English is a dying language; it will be gone in like, five billion years anyway. Plus, I don’t need to learn English. Me speaks English just fine.
      Film, Video, and Photographic Arts: One word: Instagram. There is no reason to spend money on college when you can just take a two by two picture or video with bad filters right on your phone. Enough said.
 
      ​This all being said: there is no such thing as a bad major! Please don’t take my sarcasm as actual advice! It is not what major you choose; it’s what you do with the major. Every major a school offers applies to something in the real world. Most people drift away from majors that they care about because of the pressure of money. It is fine to think about security, but ask yourself: is money or your passion more important? Don’t let people make you feel bad about the major you chose because it isn’t Biotechnology of Software Programming. There are great majors with great potential, but don’t blend with the crowd. We need more color in a world that is trained to be gray.