With Christmas comes a profusion of decisions to make like deciding what to get your family for Christmas or deciding if you want ham or turkey for your Christmas dinner. However, there is one decision that can weigh on people more than anything else: which tacky Christmas sweater should I wear? Tacky Christmas sweaters are a staple for the holidays. What is gift shopping or gingerbread house decorating if you don’t have a cheesy holiday sweater to do it all in? Picking one out for yourself can be difficult given the plethora of options the world has to offer. Lucky for you, here is a guide on how to pick out the perfect Christmas sweater for yourself.
For the extrovert:
The entire month of December is filled with parties, shindigs, and other cheerful gatherings. If these things are your scene, you are most likely a big extrovert. Secret Santa parties don’t stress you out, nor does the idea of dealing with crowds at the mall in order to get that present that you’ve been dying to give your brother. If this applies to you, I have the perfect type of sweater for you.
Something bright, cheery, and a little loud would fit you best and give your peers a taste of both your personality and your Christmas cheer. A sweater with bright reds and greens would be excellent for you. Multiple varieties of patterns would work for you, given your exuberant personality. Light-up sweaters have started being offered at several different stores like Walmart, and these would be perfect for your outgoing nature.
For the introvert:
There are plenty of people out there who would rather stay in and watch Christmas movies rather than attending the neighborhood Christmas party. Holidays aren’t about socializing for them; instead, they’d rather appreciate the beauty of Christmas from the comfort of their own home. If you’re one of those people who would rather cozy up by the fire instead of drinking eggnog with your friends, you might want a sweater that’s a little more toned down.
The ideal sweater for you homebodies would be on the simpler side without the excessive ribbons and blends of patterns. A quieter sweater with a simple snowflake pattern would be great for you. If you’re feeling really adventurous, maybe you can throw a couple reindeer on there. Too many patterns would be crowded and so not fitting for your personality, so keeping it simple is never a bad thing. With that toned down but still festive sweater, you will be able to display your Christmas cheer in a way that isn’t out of your comfort zone.
For the lover of classics:
There is always a large crowd of people who love everything traditional about Christmas. They are always fully stocked on eggnog and hot chocolate, they prefer the classic Bing Crosby Christmas tunes over the modern versions, and they absolutely live for A Christmas Story. In this case, a traditional Christmas sweater would be appropriate for you. A classic quilt pattern or handwoven letters reading “Merry Christmas” would fit you perfectly. Cute Christmas tree, reindeer, or present patterns would also be fitting.
For the Star Wars fanatic:
Oh yes, there are even sweaters for you die-hard Star Wars fans. With the recent release of Rogue One, it would make sense if fans had a hard time exchanging their Star Wars merchandise for Christmas sweaters; lucky for them, they can have both. There are dozens of Star Wars sweaters out there. If you’re partial to the basics, a sweater with a Stormtrooper wearing a Santa hat would be great for you. If you want to add a little more, a sweater with Darth Vader wearing reindeer antlers and “I find your lack of cheer disturbing” written beneath it would be ideal for you.
For the comedian:
There is only one thing that could possibly make a tacky Christmas sweater better: adding a pun. If you read the word “pun” and cringed, you are lying to yourself and denying yourself of one of life’s greatest joys. If you the word “pun” and it brought you some variety of excitement, there are plenty of sweaters out there for you. A simple sweater with a picture of a Santa hat-donning sheep wrapped in Christmas lights with “Fleece Navidad” written underneath it would be excellent for you. If you’re feeling a bit more morbid, a sweater with a broken-legged gingerbread man with “Oh snap!” written above it would be right up your alley.
Christmas sweaters may be tacky and cheesy, but wearing them is undeniably like receiving a hug from Santa Claus himself. They are warm, uplifting, and allow you to bring Christmas cheer with you everywhere you go. Not only are they festive, but they’re also cheap! Quality ones can be found at thrift shops, Walmart…even Dollar Tree! Now that you know what Christmas sweater is perfect for you, what are you waiting for? Go treat yourself to a Christmas sweater.
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